Cat Head BIscuits

“If cats were born in an oven, would they be biscuits?”

This is an abomination !

What the hell is that contraption? My oven. ..My Kitchen Aide microwave/oven combo.  The hinges on my oven have broke...again!  One minute they are fine and I am reaching culinary magic in my kitchen. The next, the oven door will not close properly., and thus.. the oven does not heat properly!. 

The FIRST time the hinges broke I had them replaced.. to the tune of a whopping $500.00. Now you have to ask?? WT&*^%$#  That is outrageous for two small pieces  of metal.  And why does this happen? I bake, but I do not use my oven more than the average family. Simply, this oven..SUCKS! It has broken more times than I could tell you. I have complained to Kitchen Aide .. but I get no sympathy. I refuse to fix it again, so you see my MacGuyver -rigged  hot -mess thing I have going on here.

That said, I did managed to actually bake some biscuits. I am originally a born and bread " Northerner" I flew south one winter, and never returned.  ( Bada- bing). Besides my oven being an abomination, so are my "bricks", opps.. i mean biscuits. A perfect fluffy white biscuit is glorious . Growing up in a Italian -American northern family we just never ate them. We were a different type, Yes...were those type of breakfast people.  ( says in a small whisper..".bagels"...careful my oven might here me). Don't' get me wrong I love them too. BUT, the power of a biscuit... my southern born and bred children ( who BTW..really do not like Italian food ...WHAT???!... I know.. are they really mine?? ..I am afraid sooo...: /)  will choose them hands down.

Here s the recipe I am now using. Is it perfect ? No. ..but it comes as close as I will ever be to being a " true southerner" . I am sure my daughter will teach me how to bake them when she is older, because she is " the real deal" 

"Cat Head" Biscuit Recipe ( so big they are the size of a Cat's head ) 

adapted from here:  http://hubpages.com/hub/Appalachian-Biscuits-Recipe 

Makes  five - six large biscuits- based on size of cutter used

Ingredients:

• 2 1/4 Cup All Purpose Flour ( White Lilly) or 1 and 1/4 cup ALL-purpose flour 1 cup cake flour *if  White Lilly is not avail .
• 3/4 Teaspoon Salt
• 1/2 Teaspoon Baking Soda
• 1 and  Teaspoon Double-Acting Baking Powder
• 1 Cup of Buttermilk, Milk, or Plain Yogurt ( or a mixture of the 2) - ICE COLD
• 6 Tablespoons Lard, Shortening, or Unsalted Butter ( I use 3 tablespoons unsalted butter and 3 shortening)  CUBED and placed in freezer.

* this is due to the differences in winter wheat ( northern flour) and southern wheat flour which has less protein and makes fluffier biscuits.

Preparation Instructions:

I use a food processor..it is faster to mix.This is how I mix, there are many different ways and variations. Somehow this one works for me :)

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit (230 degrees Celsius).

2. SIFT the flour, salt, soda, and baking powder together in a medium-sized mixing bowl.

3. Butter/shortening- CUBED and frozen .

4. Measure out buttermilk, or milk and yogurt in a cup bowl. Place in freezer to get ice cold  but not frozen. @ 30 minutes

5. Place dry ingredients in food processor . Add cubed frozen shortening. ( or 1/2 of fat you are using)  Pulse mixer a few times .  I do 4 quick pulses. (The finished mixture should have the consistency of course-ground cornmeal).

6. Now add butter ( the rest of the fat)  all at once and stream your buttermilk  it into dry-quickly  pulsing mixture as you go. Dough should be wet and shaggy. NOT mixed completely into a ball. Pour out onto a flour surface or parchment paper counter top. You may see bigger blobs of butter and that is ok:)

7. With your hands shape quickly into a even flat disk. Keep thickness of disk to 1/2 inch or  height of biscuit cutter. 

8. Punch out round shapes with a biscuit cutter. Place on un greased sheet pan. ( I used a 2 1/2 to a 3 inch ). I ended up with 5 biscuits.

 9. Bake for 15 minutes or until the tops of the biscuits are a light golden brown.

light and fluffy inside

super huge!

They are big, light, buttery, and...the best biscuits I have ever made:)

PS..My microwave is also broken .....just though you all would like to know!